Sober Musings, Graduation Season, and Setting Intentions

 Well hello there, friends. It's been a minute! I hope the first half of 2025 has gone beautifully for all of you, and welcome back to the sober musings of Mama Jenn. A lot has happened since I last came to the blog, and I want to share some snippets with you. First and foremost, I am the proud mama of two high school graduates! Lucas and Rylee wrapped up their senior year, both in 100% true fashion for each of them. Lucas doing his own thing and with marginal participation in all of the senior things, and Rylee joining every event, club, group outing, and experience possible. I'm proud of how they show up for themselves, their friends and their family. I'm proud of the way that they finished out high school, and chased their own dreams for the next chapters of their lives. It will be weird for all three of us that they won't be in the same city, doing the same thing, but it's time for all of us to stretch ourselves a bit and see where their paths take them. At the end of the day, I'll be their biggest cheerleader all the way through. In fact, today, I am sitting at my old stomping grounds, Cal State Fullerton, while my girl attends her college orientation. Super surreal, and reigniting a passion of mine to teach college courses in my near future. A new goal for a new stage of life for all of us. Micah also finished his last year of elementary school earlier this month, and I am continually amazed by how smart, determined, aware, and witty that kid is. He's the best pieces of me and Nick all rolled into one stubborn, wise-beyond-his-years, and driven individual. Jaxon will be spending his first year without a sibling on campus in August, as he goes into fifth grade and closes out his elementary school career. Lots of changes happening in our family, all good growing pains, but one thing I come back to is how freaking grateful I am to be sober and 100% in the moment with all of them. 

Rylee & Lucas - Class of 2025

Micah's 5th grade promotion

CSUF Daydreaming

Last week, Nick, Micah, Jaxon and I went to St. George, Utah for a few days. I worked a couple of the days that we were there, but we had one solid day of just fun for the four of us. One thing I don't like about this season of life is that I often feel pulled in two different directions - my big kids are off living their lives, working, not really in the family vacation mode, and Nick and I are still trying to make memories and have family vacation experiences with our littles (even though they aren't so little anymore). But this one full day of vacation with Nick and the boys reminded me of so many things to be grateful for. We rode jet-skis and the last time I remember doing that, I was definitely not sober. I think about how being present in the moment for these activities just makes me and my kids so much happier. I notice my anxiety a bit more now, because I'm not trying to drown it out with alcohol or silence it. I'm learning how to walk through the moments of anxiety, to feel it, but to also feel that I have two feet on the ground, I'm doing deep breathing, and I'm surviving whatever anxiety storm is trying to take over. Something as mundane as the safety video they make you watch at the jet-ski rental would have me feeling so anxious I'd have to drink to not acknowledge the dangers in "what could happen" and all of the worst case scenario thinking. This time around, the anxiety told me not to do it, but I have a husband who doesn't let me back out of things as easily as I would like sometimes, and that's a good thing. Because I had so much fun with my Arroyo boys out on that lake (or reservoir or something...a large body of water). We did some cemetery wandering which is one of my favorite things in new cities. We ate good food, we had a ping pong tournament, we did an escape room together, we relaxed and just enjoyed each other's company without the everyday hustle of life that can sidetrack us from the important things sometimes. 

St. George Escape Room - "Game Night"

Tonaquint Cemetery, St. George, Utah

I'm made some personal strides over the past six months since I last blogged. I completed my Project Management Certification at UCSD in May. I covered up an old tattoo that doesn't hold any meaning for me anymore in June. I decided to focus on what the next steps of my career journey should look like, and wrote out my personal goals and milestones to get there. Things are changing at work, but maybe I can change with them. Maybe I can find a new path that still allows me to do the things I love so much for my kids and my family. I've also committed to prioritizing my physical and mental health. I walk at least five days a week and have been doing so for a little over eight weeks now. I feel stronger, more clear-headed, and determined to reach my own goals than I have in years. As of June 14, 2025, I am 21 months sober. Two year soberversary will be on September 14, 2025. What a difference two years can make in someone's internal growth and outward connections with the world around you. I'm so grateful for these milestones, these changes, and setting intentions and goals for myself. It wouldn't have been possible if I didn't decide almost two years ago that something had to change. It was absolutely one of the very best decisions I've made for myself. And I can't wait for more milestones - Rylee's college moving in day, Lucas's first day of EMT school, Micah's first day of middle school, the first college course I'm going to teach (manifesting that shit into existence, people!), and the little things like Jaxon and Micah playing soccer together again in the fall. Being here for all of that, 100% present and my best self, is making life so much more abundant than I thought possible when I was in the fog.