When the Universe Answers

 When I was working on my Master's degree in American Studies back in 2004, I had no idea that I'd become a mom to twins two years later, and a newly divorced woman at the ripe age of 26 just four years later. I absolutely loved my Master's degree program. I loved the environment, I loved the professors, I loved the learning and growing and stretching that happened. I had planned at that time to pursue a PhD so that I could teach at the collegiate level. Fast forward 21 years, and the universe has answered. A dream chased for decades is becoming a reality. Something I have wanted to do for more than half of my life is now at my fingertips and I feel all the feelings. Scared, anxious, nervous, excited, grateful...

When the universe answers us, it's not always in the way that we hope. When God answers prayers, it's not always the way we imagined it would be. Whether you believe in God or the universe or karma or whatever your "higher power" might be, I'm feeling exceptionally grateful today. Grateful for this opportunity. Grateful for family that supports me chasing my dreams. Grateful for my employer that is supportive of me chasing this dream and allowing me space for flexibility in scheduling my hours while still working my full-time "regular" job. Grateful for a husband that is not always loud about it, but is always on my team (even when I didn't realize it and fought him tooth and nail in our early years of marriage because I was so afraid to love someone again and be broken by it). Grateful for my oldest and dearest friend always being someone I can text randomly and say thank you for inspiring me to continue chasing my dreams. Just all the gratitude. 

I received an email last week that there was an opportunity to teach a college course in my area of studies two decades ago. I immediately got overwhelmed and started working on a letter to my employer requesting some flexibility for the 16-week semester that this will take place in. Then I got to work on a syllabus - creating one from scratch, scouring the samples I found online and using my foundation from two decades ago and those samples to create a timely approach to the syllabus that will guide this college course I'll be teaching in less than a month. I'm digging into the readings on my lunch break and in the evenings. I'm going to start creating notes for myself to guide my lesson plans and create assignments and build a course website (because it's 2025 so we all have a course website these days!). It's a lot of work, a lot of brainpower, and a lot of time management - but it's all in the effort to realize a dream I've had out in the universe for two decades. As Walt Disney is credited with saying, "If you can dream it, you can achieve it." 

Chase those dreams, friends. Be proud of your accomplishments - big and small. And when that knock comes to your door, or that phone call hits your desk, answer it. We will never know what could be if we don't do the uncomfortable things, and put it out there. The CEO of the company I work for is all about creating purpose and vision and goals. I am so grateful to be part of a company that supports its employees in achieving their goals, and can't wait to see what the next chapter brings. 

Testing, Testing....

 Any doctor's appointment after the time I had my last baby in 2015 up through early 2024 was stressful. My blood pressure would be sky high, my pulse was racing, and I was nervous about what might come up in lab work. I avoided going to the doctor for many years because of the stress it would undoubtedly cause. I took my kids for their annual physicals like clockwork, but it had been years since I'd seen my primary care physician or had lab work done, except for surgery clearance purposes in that almost decade long period. Fast forward to July 2025 when I had to go in for a follow-up with an ENT about inner ear pain and ringing I've been experiencing for the last year or so, and the doctor noticed my labs were due. Instead of trying to put them off or avoiding it altogether, I went down to the lab for my blood draw and wasn't anxious about the results. Instead, I looked forward to getting the notification that they were ready to review a few hours later. The damage I was doing to my liver and kidneys on a regular basis with excessive alcohol intake, and the extra work I was putting on the rest of my organs is scary. I am so lucky that I did not have more health-related issues during that time period, because I very easily could have landed myself in the hospital for uncontrolled diabetes, heart issues, or other serious risks. I'm grateful to be living alcohol-free and working towards the healthiest version of myself. Instead of being excited about stops at CVS for "mommy juice" on weekend errand trips, I'm excited about Amazon deliveries of mini steppers so I can meet my new goal of 10,000 steps each day in July with some of my sober friends. Sunday no longer carries the weight of dreading the return to work Mondays and the anxiety and hangover that often came with Monday mornings. I'm thankful to be free of those worries, there's enough other stuff in life to keep the stress curveballs coming, but at least I'm prioritizing myself and my peace so that I can combat those curveballs with a clear mind and better coping strategies that won't land me in bed for a mid-day Monday nap and guzzling Gatorade so that I can try and function the rest of the day. 

661 days alcohol free looks so much better than I could have anticipated.