Leading with Love

 This past week was the most stressful I've experienced in a long time. There were a lot of nerves about starting a new semester as well as my "regular" job company meeting in Los Angeles for a couple of days. I've learned over the past year that I really love my home, and I really love my family, which makes it a bit more difficult to travel for work or without them. Although I was a ball of nerves all day on Tuesday leading up to my first day of classes on Wednesday, the day went smoothly for the most part (thanks to Fast Track on the 91 freeway for decreasing my stress levels at least for that first morning drive into OC) and I arrived to the company meeting Wednesday evening. We all work 100% remotely, with some employees traveling more for company visits, workshops, and trainings. So this once-a-year "all hands" meeting in January has been something I've attended the past three years since I started there in January 2024. Each year, it's been a little less stressful, as I am getting more comfortable with myself and more confident in what I bring to the table - thanks in large part to my sobriety, my improving physical health, and my recently acquired gig as a college professor. 

To my (somewhat) surprise, I was presented with one of our annual company awards at the meeting on Thursday, and I was able to speak to one of the leaders of the company about sobriety, goal-setting, and intentions. Her guidance, insight, and straightforward approach to chasing the things that matter was one of the most meaningful conversations I've had about my career, ever. About a dozen of us spent an hour the morning of Thursday walking a couple miles in Marina del Rey, seeing the water and the sunrise and meditating to start our day. It was a great couple of days, and it made me even more grateful for my home and my family after spending a couple days away. 

Lots of emotions have gone through my body over the past 72 hours. Anxiety, nervousness, confidence, uncertainty, certainty, appreciation, gratitude, and exhaustion are just a few. But I think the biggest lesson I'm walking away with is this - we can do all things with love instead of hate, compassion instead of envy, and gratitude instead of disappointment. 

One of the things I'm most grateful about with my current employer (not the college, the "regular job") is the way several of the leaders (including the one noted above and the CEO) approach success and growth. They applaud my pursuit of other professional opportunities even if it means that ultimately leads me away from my current role. They encourage and support and lead with love. One of our assignments leaving the company meeting in LA was to make the day of someone else with generosity. Our CEO gave each attendee of the meeting an envelope with $100 in it. We were tasked with giving that money away to someone who could benefit from it (non-family). I was able to pass that love and generosity onto someone who has been a huge impact on my oldest two kids for the past few years. No matter where I am professionally in five years, I have no doubt that I will remember that experience, this company, and the progress I've made as a human being because of my decision to surrender to sobriety, to let go of the need to control every aspect of my life, and to lead with love above all else. 

Morning walk in Marina del Rey with coworkers

My oldest two kiddos and their boss leading with love:)

Company Award Winners 2025

Marina del Rey, CA

Words Matter

 Words. Words can be weaponized to hurt other people, or utilized to build people up. Words can be powerful, both written and verbally. I've always been drawn to words - memorizing Bible verses in elementary school for church, writing poems in junior high and high school, and blogging and writing books in adulthood. When I was in high school, I wanted to become a journalist. Then when I got to college, I wanted to be an author and a college professor. The power of words has always been felt in my world, and I think that makes me more tuned in to how words affect other people, because they have always mattered a lot to me. 

Word of the year for me is SERENITY, and Rylee chose ALIGNMENT. She's been through some ups and downs over the past six months, and I'm really proud of how she's navigated things and continues to carry herself. She is also someone with whom words matter - and the delivery of words coming from someone who is more rational and direct versus someone who is more empathetic and tuned in to the feelings of others can drastically differ. I'm trying to teach her that words do matter, but the only thing we can control when it comes to how others choose their words (or delivery of those words) is how we react to them. It's a lesson I continue to learn each day.

In my "regular" job, I attended a leadership virtual summit today and a few things that stood out to me were that along with words, intentions matter. When you lead from love, gratitude, and compassion, the people you work with will recognize that. When you lead from fear and control and intimidation, the people you work with will also recognize that - and likely try their best to avoid interacting with you because of how you lead. I think this lesson applies to what I'm trying to do in the classroom this semester with my college students as well. The words I say to them matter. The first couple years of college are all about finding your way, and figuring out what matters to you. I am hopeful that by creating a space of authenticity and welcoming, the students I interact with in the first half of 2026 will be better off in some way than when they walked in the classroom door on the first day. 

In the virtual summit today, one of the leaders asked what each of our goals were for 2026. 

My goal for 2026 is to have my words matter in all of my interactions - with students, colleagues at work, family, and friends. I want to positively impact those that I interact with, and be a light for the students who might not have another source of positivity pouring into them.