Slimming Down & Doing Nothing

 I am a perfectionist by nature. I don't do "nothing" very well, it goes against everything in me to just sit and chill. If I am watching a movie, I'm probably also reading a book. If I am relaxing, I'm for sure folding laundry too. One of the things I am learning through this new journey of sobriety, as I read my quit lit and follow along to The Mantra Project emails from Holly Whitaker each morning, is to slow down and just be. To do nothing. To give myself a break. To not have to keep my hands busy, but sometimes just sit still and breathe. I'm sure some of you are great at this. I am not. It's a work in progress. 

I can tell you that I'm seeing positive changes in myself physically, not just because of the RNY surgery earlier this year, but because of the decision to stop drinking. I'm on Day 9 this time around, and I feel good about it. Weekends are usually tougher, especially weekends when my husband is working, because there's a lot going on, and a lot of needs and a lot of feelings in a house of four kids and one mama bear who feels everything a little too much sometimes. In order to combat the weekend desire to have a drink to numb out or distract myself from the chaos around me, I am planning to start a new project this weekend. One that brings together some of my thoughts, some of my struggles, and gives me an outlet to express myself in a way that might help someone else one day. 

In addition to some changes in my face, in my smile (plus I got my hair chopped yesterday so it's a fresh feeling in general), in my happiness that I can feel and see (and not to mention my improved digestion and sleep and energy), I tried on a pair of size 16 jeans today. In April of this year, I wore a size 22 jeans. It feels so good to be getting back to myself, and I think this sobriety journey is just one more piece to that puzzle. 

I hope you can find the joy in doing nothing at some point this weekend. Give yourself a break, and get outside and smell that fresh fall air! One of my favorite times of the year, when the air is crisp and the sun comes and goes and hides behind the clouds for days on end.