Scary new world

 We live in crazy times, my friends. Today, I received an email from my kids' high school principal that there was a "non-credible" threat. A student had started a group chat on social media, asking schoolmates to show up wearing a suit, and help him attack the school, guns blazing. A few things that make today's world a little scarier for not only parents, but for the teenagers walking those halls are social media, mental health struggles, and a sense of entitlement amongst kids and parents that I haven't seen before the pandemic of COVID-19. 

So let me start off by saying that the threat was indeed non-credible, or at least, was by the time the student in question arrived at school today. As I was dropping my kids off early, I saw two sheriff vehicles heading into the school, and I got word shortly thereafter that the student was taken into custody. But, one of the most striking things about this news today was how quickly it spread like wildfire on group chats for parents on social media, as well as through the kids at school (as I received texted screen shots from my daughter). Social media has made kids who are either bullies or broken themselves into giants. They can post whatever they want, and they don't have to look anyone in the eye while they do it. I think social media can be poisonous for some, and I try to make educated decisions about what things my kids have access to, while also knowing I can't protect them from everything, and a little exposure and understanding of the power of social media is good for them. 

Mental health struggles have also exploded since the pandemic. I know personally that mental health, depression, anxiety, self-harm - they've always been there. But the post-pandemic environment has created a sense of unknowing and loss of power (autonomous and otherwise) that no one in my generation ever experienced before. We were a generation raised by baby boomers (some of us being over-protected millenials and the older generation X'ers being left to their own devices to survive on their own by working parents who had other things to worry about like putting food on the table in some cases), and some of us were very sheltered and didn't have a lot of exposure to the evils of the world. We knew about Columbine, but that was a rarity. Maybe the rarity was in the publicizing of the events, but in any case, it was rare. Today, I feel like we hear about a mass shooting every other week. It's absolutely mind-blowing and soul-crushing all at the same time that this is the world we send our kids out into every single day. 

The third and final thing I'm going to comment on as it pertains to this situation is the entitlement. I have four kids that all play sports. They all have chores, they don't get every single thing they ask for on their Christmas list or at the store, or on Amazon. But they are by no means going without either. That being said, I have no problem talking to my kids about budgets and money and how much things cost. I want them to know that their dad and I work hard to provide for them, and to give them the "extras" that other kids don't have. We live in a fairly affluent neighborhood, so many of their friends do not hear no very often and regularly get whatever they want, or go shopping just because they're bored. And thus is born the sense of entitlement amongst the youth of America today. But what happened to their parents? Why are they so entitled as well? I really think COVID did a number on everyone's psyche, and one of the things that really got hit hard was this sense of entitlement - that everyone else should be serving you in their day-to-day actions. I see it everywhere! I see it on the soccer fields, when the kid spinning in circles has a parent who messages the coach to say he needs more playing time. I see it in the classrooms when I volunteer and an 8-year-old is throwing a tantrum and disrupting the rest of the class, and all the teacher can do is ask him to stop or call the office for the 18th time that month. 

It's so sad and it really makes me nervous for what the world will look like when my youngest is an adult. I'm trying to raise four good humans, to instill in them that winning and losing is part of life, that we always try our best, and if we lose and we're sad about it, that's ok. But it's also important to take responsibility when we screw up, to be accountable for our actions, and to show kindness whenever possible. We shouldn't baby our kids to the point that they aren't able to survive in the real world, because it's a scary one out there. We should teach them to appreciate the things they have, but to proceed with caution when it comes to social media, and friendships and relationships. We should teach them to be good people, but to also be realistic when it comes to the people and things they are exposed to every single day. 

It is indeed a scary new world, and parenting in it gets harder with each passing day. They say the hardest thing you'll do as a parent is pour your heart and soul into your kids, and then watch them walk away (or push them out the door depending on who you talk to). It's really a pretty crappy arrangement if you think about it. We spend 18 years putting our blood, sweat, tears, money, resources, time, etc. into these little humans, with the ultimate goal of WANTING them to leave us. Wanting them to be productive members of society and good humans. And some days, all we can do is pray and hope that they make it back to us in one piece. And I'll be grateful every single day they do, even if they drive me crazy along the way.