Protecting My Peace

 I've adopted a new catch phrase over the last few months. I think it's something I've been reluctant to do in the past because it means I am putting myself and my needs before others, and that's historically not something I've been very good at because I'm a people pleaser (and a mom). 

Protect my peace.

This is what I intend to do every day. Whether that's related to work, family, marriage, friends, or just life, I want to protect my peace (and along with that, my sobriety). By setting boundaries where they need to be, I can do a better job at protecting my peace so I don't get to those broken places full of emotional chaos that I often lived in when I was using alcohol and food to numb my feelings and just survive. 

I've given this advice to others lately. I hope they are able to take it for what it is and apply it to their lives too, in a way that is constructive, kind, and purposeful. 

I have a meeting at work this afternoon that I am dreading. Working in HR, there are some great things I get to roll out and introduce to our team (like a video we're working on to promote giving and charitable contributions for our company and employees), but there are also the hard conversations that I have to be a part of. One of the things that makes this type of work hard for me is that I genuinely like most people. Unless you give me a reason not to like you, I'm going to always give you the benefit of the doubt. When I have to be part of hard conversations, then I feel like those people don't like me anymore, or think I was being fake if I was nice to them yesterday and then a part of a hard conversation the next day. 

Being an enneagram two, empath, highly sensitive person, and a people pleaser means that I carry a lot of emotional baggage at times. I want everyone to be happy, I like there to be peace amongst my family members and friends and coworkers. It affects me deeply when there is not harmony in these groups that I live in. But, at the end of the day, I have chosen to work in a field that means I have to be a part of these tough conversations sometimes. As a mom, I've also chosen to have hard conversations with my kids and my spouse when we are parenting them and may not see exactly eye-to-eye. 

One thing that does make these tricky situations a little easier to manage is that I'm not drinking. I wake up feeling good most days, not hungover or off my game. I can show up for these things being 100% aware and engaged and ready to participate in whatever way I need to. 

Protecting my peace extends not just from dealing with uncomfortable situations, but sometimes it means going for a quick walk to get some sunshine and take a break from computer. Working from home can mean that the lines are often blurred - I'm answering Slack messages while watching my son's volleyball or soccer game on weekday evenings. I'm jumping from a video call for work to helping with homework sometimes. 

Knowing that these challenges are going to pop up because of the choices I've made to work remotely, work in HR, and also be as present for my kids' activities as possible, while still practicing self-care and trying to prioritize my mental health too, it's necessary for me to identify the boundaries I need in place to adequately protect my peace and my mental health above everything else. Because if I can't show up ready for the day, I'm not going to be of great use to anyone, and then I'm going to feel guilty because I failed at something. 

Prioritizing my sobriety, my mental health, my emotional well-being and my physical health is a huge goal for 2024. I want to lay the foundation for these things, and then I'll be in a better position to make any necessary changes to my career path once I feel settled and grounded in who I am and what matters to me. 

This weekend, you can find me reading a good book, taking a short walk, getting my nails done, and drinking my water and coffee.  If there was a pretty cemetery near by, you could for sure find me reading or walking there. I find cemeteries to be incredibly peaceful places. 

What do you plan to do this weekend to protect your peace?