Yesterday, the twins and I went to a family wedding. Their uncle (the twins' biological dad's half-brother) got married, and we were invited to join in on the festivities. I had a little bit of anxiety about the event, because I knew I would be opening the door to my past in some ways. But, the goal for me was always to allow the twins to have a relationship with their dad's side of the family as long as it was positive, welcoming, and loving towards the twins. Unfortunately, they do not have a relationship with their biological dad because he's made choices over the years that clearly showed the twins' well-being was not on his list of priorities. That's a post for another day, but there are many people on his side of the family that have stayed connected over the years, checked in on them, and tried to develop and maintain relationships with Lucas and Rylee despite Corey's lack of involvement in their lives.
Lucas was confident and ready to go into this wedding. I saw some moments of nervousness in him the closer we got to the venue (it was about a 2.5 hour drive from our house). Rylee was her usual cautious self about the whole thing, but I could tell that she was looking forward to it and being a part of her uncle's day. She also loves dancing and music, so that was something she was looking forward to as well, I'm sure. When we arrived, the wedding had started, so we snuck into our seats and watched the ceremony, going unnoticed by the rest of the guests. After the ceremony, we saw some familiar faces, aunts and cousins and the twins' grandma and grandpa on their dad's side of the family, who we have seen a few times a year over the last several years and who have always been gracious and welcoming to both me and the twins (and to Nick and Micah and Jaxon, always making them included and part of the family as well, which I appreciate more than words can express). Immediately with several of the family members, I felt this sense of relief that we were always welcome and included with this group, it had just been so long since the twins and I saw these beautiful people that I had anxiety about the actual moment of meeting - all for nothing, because it was fun and great and so nice to see the twins connecting with that side of the family, and with each other. Their bond is something I always remind them to be grateful for, because no one else on the earth will ever be closer to them than each other (genetically and literally and figuratively speaking).
It was such a beautiful wedding, and opened the doors to reconnect with people I will always consider to be family, regardless of whether I stayed married to the twins' dad or not. They are people that I have known since I was a junior in high school (25+ years of history goes a long way!) and I want my kids to know them and love them too. These people are part of my past, and I hope that they are part of the twins' (and my) future too.
Family comes in all shapes and sizes, and I'm grateful that they are part of mine.
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