The "R" Words

 

Yesterday, I was driving home from getting blood work done, and I saw this beautiful sky. At the same time, I happened to be listening to a podcast and the woman talking about her struggles with alcohol referred to her specific battle as alcohol reliance versus alcohol addiction or dependence. Reliance. That word really stuck with me, and the sky was a perfect example of reliance to me in that moment. As human beings, we rely on the rotation of the sun to give us sunlight, to feed us that Vitamin D that our bodies and our minds crave for balance. We are reliant upon so many things that happen in the background, that we don't give much thought to in our day-to-day. As Christians, we are reliant on faith that surpasses understanding. Faith in a living God that shows up for us and loves us and guides us despite our inability as people to do what He asks of us, because most days, we fall short. As parents, our kids are reliant on us to show up for them, to provide for their basic needs and to also be their emotional punching bag and support system. I feel that reliance to my core, some days more than others. Some days, the reliance of others on me leads me to bed before 8pm because I'm just drained emotionally from that reliance of others on me. 

Reliance is defined as a "dependence on or trust in someone or something." 

Resilience is another R word that has resonated with me lately. Resilience is something I see in my grandma, who despite previous battles with colon cancer and other health conditions, is spending today at the hospital to receive treatment for skin cancer. Resilience is something I see in my parents, who despite their upbringings, have been the most supportive parents and grandparents I ever could have dreamed of. Resilience is something I see in my son, who was in the spelling bee yesterday and didn't fare as well as he'd hoped, but still stuck it out the rest of the day at school even though his emotions got the best of him for awhile. Resilience is something I see in my daughter who has overcome a heart condition and does her best to show up for her friends, her family, and pushes herself to do her best in school and life. 

Resilience is not a word I would have identified with personally in the past. I have definitely overcome some tough situations, but I wouldn't necessarily call myself resilient, because oftentimes, the battle that I fought would have taken all of my energy and kicked my ass for awhile, leaving me drowning in emotions and feelings of disappointment and failure. But, my sobriety has once again given me the aptitude for a skill I didn't know I had. Resilience. Able to push through challenges and not letting the emotions and energy it takes out of me crush my resolve to put my needs first, and practice self-care. Able to keep showing up for my kids and my husband and even though things are hard sometimes, still doing the damn thing. 

Resilience is defined as "the capacity to withstand or to recover quickly from difficulties; toughness." 

These two words at first glance might seem opposites. But, I think they actually work pretty well together if we allow them to co-exist. Reliance on our faith, our toolkit to practice self-care, to prioritize the people and things that matter to us, and our own strength to survive the tough stuff in life. But also resilience to recover from those challenges and to keep showing up, day after day. 

Image courtesy of @Soberlining on Instagram