Micah, my fourth grader, has a project about his ancestors to work on this weekend. He was asking his dad and I questions, and I remembered a couple things about my family that has been shared with me over the years, and the same for Nick. Nick's dad, Julio, served in the Navy during Vietnam. I remembered that somewhere along the line on my dad's side, there was a history in Kentucky and a semi-famous boxer. Ancestry is something that has always fascinated me. In college, I took a class in ethnographies and oral histories, and it was incredibly interesting to me.
Imagine my delight when I stumbled across an interview that my aunt did with my grandpa shortly before his passing in 1985 (when I was three years old). It not only got me thinking about the legacies that we leave behind for our kids and grandkids, but also at the importance of sharing stories and knowing where we come from; the good, the bad and the ugly.
Special shout out to my Aunt Pam for taking this interview and writing things down. She has done an incredible job of sharing ancestry information with my dad and this whole side of the family. I love that my son loves learning about this stuff too, it's something we can obsess over together.
A few things Papa Ron said that really got me emotional were:
"Your mother is the greatest thing that ever happened to me. She's an amazing woman. It's unbelievable the amount of love that she has for people. Not just for you kids, but for her grandkids too."
This is my Grandma Bev that he's talking about, who just so happens to be one of my favorite people on earth. Papa Ron was a smart cookie.
When asked by my aunt (his daughter) what he's most proud of, or what he'd like people to remember the most, he said, "The thing that I would like the most...is for people to feel and say, hey, he was a nice guy. I don't want to be a great guy, I'd just like to be a nice guy...and to have my kids, not just my three kids, but my grandkids too, is that I'd live long enough and they would remember me, to say, yeah, I remember Papa, I remember him."
Now, I was 3 years old when Papa Ron passed away. He was only 55. I do have very vague memories of being at the first house I lived at, on Monterey Street, and Papa and Grandma being out in the front yard with us. I remember things my mom has shared, about how Papa Ron treated her like a daughter, and loved my sister and I very much. Reading his words, I can almost feel who he was as a person, which is pretty cool.
Interestingly, I also learned in reading this interview that my great grandfather, Papa Ron's dad, was an alcoholic, and it sounds like a mean one at that. Unhealthy relationships with alcohol definitely seem to run in the family a bit.
My aunt asked my Papa what advice he would give to my dad, and this one made me smile.
"To relax. To be relaxed and not be so serious about a lot of things."
Funny thing is, my dad always seemed happy when I was a kid (except right when he got home from work some days, he didn't love his job). He always showed us kids lots of love, was there for all of the big (and little) moments, and was generally just one of my favorite people growing up. But, I can definitely see where he was probably hard on himself and too serious. I feel this same way about Micah sometimes. He's very emotionally impacted by others around him, and he takes things very serious. He's a thinker, and an analytical person by nature. My Grandma Bev tells me regularly how much Micah reminds her of my dad. The genetic tendencies to be a certain way, to carry our emotions (or hide them) and to struggle with certain things are just an absolutely intriguing piece of life. Seeing it run through generations like this is just mind-blowing and so cool!
Some great advice Papa Ron left us all with. "I'd give that advice to all of my grandchildren. To do the best you can, to get as much as you can but don't be selfish and greedy. And treat other people with respect and treat them decent. You never know, someday you may have to ask that person for a favor. You can't never tell."
My Grandma Bev & Papa Ron with their three kids (my dad is in the middle)
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