13 Things in Year One ~ It's My Soberversary!

 This morning, I woke up and found the sweetest acknowledgement of today's accomplishment on my bathroom counter. I knew this day was coming for weeks and months, but I wasn't aware that Nick was paying attention to it too. He doesn't ask me about my sobriety often, but this card and his words in it, and this sweet token of my 1-year of sobriety informed me that he is watching and he's proud. That meant more to me than words can even express, because as an Enneagram 2, I want my people to love me and want me around. I need words of affirmation to know that I'm doing a good job, and this gesture was unexpected and so appreciated. 

In leading up to this day, I've been compiling a list of the 13 things I've learned in my first year of being alcohol-free. I realized this week that September 14 is also National Sobriety Day so I'll celebrate my sober birthday every year with millions of other sober people. Pretty damn cool, right? So here goes. And why 13 you might ask? Well, my birthday is on the 13th, the number 13 is traditionally thought of as unlucky, and I like to flip things around sometimes. I have a number 13 tattoo, and I'm a Swiftie at heart, so there you have it. 

1. Not every problem is a me problem. Some problems aren’t mine to solve

2. It’s ok to say no. Even if your no is going to upset someone else.

3. It’s not my job to make everyone happy. All I can do is try to be happy myself and positively impact those around me.

4. My mind and my body deserve rest. Some weeks require more sleep than others. That is ok. Take a nap.

5. Drinking alcohol is poison to my body and fuel to my anxiety. I’m a better human without it. 

6. Sobriety makes life easier. Even on the hard days. 

7. My body is not something to abuse or treat badly. I’m going to need it for awhile, so be kind to it! 

8. Writing out my truth was therapeutic and traumatic and worth it. No matter what the $ cost, the cost to me of keeping all of that inside was too high. 

9. My kids are always watching. And I wasn’t that good at hiding it. 

10. I can see the good and bad in everything and everyone so much more clearly without alcohol creating a fog around me. 

11. Ending an unhealthy relationship with alcohol can bring a lot of things to light. Deal with them one at a time, one day at a time. Nothing needs to be solved immediately. 

12. Sharing your story creates connection and understanding. Do it.

13. Not everyone needs to agree with your choices. You’ll lose some people and gain others when you make this choice. The people I've lost still bring sadness to my soul at times, but the people I've gained are the light at the end of the tunnel an constant reminders that this choice was the right one, and it always will be.