Authentically Me: The Journey to Live with Purpose: The Mental Weight of Motherhood

I'm sure I have blogged about this before, but why not share how I've been feeling lately? That's what you're all here for, right? (wink, wink) The mental weight of motherhood is heavy, my friends. I was talking to another mom of four the other day, and her kiddos are much younger than mine. I told her honestly how the challenges don't go away as the kids get older, they just get different. Instead of worrying if your 3-year-old is going to run into the street, you worry about them driving around late at night with drunk drivers and other teenagers on the road without a care in the world. Instead of worrying if they're eating enough vegetables, you worry about what they see and hear in the high school bathrooms. Motherhood doesn't get easier as the kids get older, it just gets different.

My kids stay pretty busy, but the summertime is generally a slower season for us with sports and activities. Once school is back in session in mid-August, sports start up and this year, Micah decided he wants to do his trifecta Spartan races and also play flag football for the first time. He's also playing on the same soccer team as Jaxon, so between those activities, the only day we will have "free" during the week is Sundays once soccer and football games start up.

I love being a sports mom, but the practices and games and homework in between can be really exhausting during the week. Add on top of that having two high school seniors and life just feels really full right now. I know I will miss the days of sports games and Homecoming dances and school assemblies. I have a packed calendar, and that's just my kids' activities, never mind work and cleaning the house and making sure everyone showers and eats and brushes their teeth.

I have to give Nick a little bit of credit here, because he is an involved dad. He picks the boys up from school and takes them to and from football and soccer practice when he's off work. But because I work from home, I become the default parent most of the time. The school calls me first if someone is in the nurse's office. The boys will walk right past their dad sitting on the couch and come ask me a question when I'm sitting at my desk working or on the phone or otherwise engaged. I am the go-to, because that's what moms do. We get shit done, and we take care of everyone else. Here's a peek at my September calendar for a visual punch.

My kids are doing big things. They're getting letterman's jackets and going to concerts and visiting national parks and running Spartan races. I'm so proud of who they are, each in their own way. But it doesn't come without a lot of mental and emotional energy behind it.

I saw a post on Instagram last week that said "U.S. Surgeon General says 4 in 10 parents are 'so stressed they cannot function.'" I think I'm functioning fairly well most days (big props to being alcohol-free which allows me to function much better than I was in years past!), but I do struggle with the mental load of motherhood. It is hard most days, and really hard some days. But when I stop and take a breath, I know at the end of the day, it's all worth it, because my kids are my greatest accomplishments and my very favorite people. Even when I'm exhausted to my core, I'm blessed to be their mom, and I'm proud of them every single day.