Changing the Narrative

What a crazy past couple of months, friends! I have been a college professor for two months now, and I feel as though I have found my purpose. Of course, I view my role as mom to my little monster crew as my biggest purpose, but I have found my purposeful career path, and I am seeing things everyday that make me appreciate where I am now. Protecting my peace has become my top priority. And as a recovering people-pleaser, that is not easy to do. I have to wake up every morning with a renewed sense of why this is of utmost importance - I simply cannot fill from an empty cup. I need to be 100% me and that allows me to impact other people in a positive way. 

Teaching a college course to 90% freshman has been an interesting experience. There have been small wins and rewards along the way - the other day after class, I chatted with a young lady who was sharing her thoughts on her future goals, and I was able to offer her advice. I have always felt a tug in my heart to help with children who aren't mine. I thought about volunteering at our church's high school youth group several times. I always loved chatting with my twins' friends about their future and goals. I now know that the opportunity to teach at my alma mater university in a subject area that I have always been passionate about, has also opened doors for me to impact teenagers and young adults, and that has been one of the brightest silver linings thus far. 

I was offered three classes to teach this coming semester. It is a tentative offer based on enrollment numbers, but to go from one class this semester to potentially three next semester brings me so much joy. In fact, I was telling my husband a couple of weeks ago that my ideal would be to stay at my corporate job in a part-time capacity as I ramp up to teach full-time over the next few years. Turns out, I may have manifested that into reality if I do indeed get to teach three courses next spring. Fingers crossed! 

It's also been a huge learning curve and adjustment for me to navigate parenting adult children. Rylee is thriving in college, has a part-time job, and has adjusted really well to living on her own (with roommates that she's known since elementary school, so that definitely helps). She said to me the other day something like "who would have thought I'd be the one in our family to go off and live with no real adults. Not me!" Her authenticity, warmth, and drive to be the best version of herself inspires me everyday. My days are truly better whenever I get to see or talk to her, and that is still everyday in one form or another. She makes me proud, and I not only love her but I really like her as a human being. Lucas is also one of my favorite people in the world, but in different ways and for different reasons. Lucas challenges me - he pushes me to take a deep breath and think about things rationally and then share that perspective with him. He tends to be impulsive, but if he decides on something, he is 100% all-in. I admire that quality in him, even if it's the same quality that makes me worry - he's obsessively dedicated to the things he wants. Speaking of the things he wants...he's made a bit of a detour on his path post-high school. Which, to be clear, I am 100% fine with. I don't think any of us have everything figured out at 18. He's considering joining the Air Force, which is scary and respectable and probably would be super beneficial to him in the long run. As a mom, it's terrifying. As someone who wants Lucas to succeed in life and be able to apply his insanely intelligent and driven traits to a goal, it seems like a really great option. 

At every new stage of life, there are obstacles and there are celebrations. There is sadness, and there is joy. I'm beyond grateful that my life today is filled with potential. I am relishing in the moments of joy and celebration, and protecting my peace by staying in my lane (surrendering to the things I cannot control) and knowing what is mine to take and shape and make a difference with. Changing the narrative of my life from one of being stuck and broken to chasing dreams and showing up authentically for myself and others has been a complete game changer. Now here I am manifesting things that I prayed for, and walking onto a college campus I know very well, but on the different side of the podium. Sometimes, it feels surreal. Always, it feels incredible.