Reconciliation & Authenticity

Several months ago, I wrote about a friendship that I had to let go of in order to move forward in my own healing process. I was in a really dark place, and the friendship was becoming more hurtful than helpful, and that goes both ways. Recently, I felt a push to reach out to this friend, and am so glad that I did! When true healing and reconciliation and forgiveness are possible, it takes both parties to own their role in what fell apart, and a commitment to move forward with authenticity and accountability. I'm so grateful for that friendship, because we can jump back in exactly where we left off, and it's like no time has passed at all. 

Unfortunately, not every relationship is built that same way. 

I have known this for some time, but was reminded of it again this weekend. No matter how many times you've learned that lesson, it always cuts a little deep (at least for me) because people that we once loved and trusted will always have a special place in our hearts, no matter how many times they have hurt us or shown us their true colors. 

I have done a lot of work on myself over the past few years to get to the life I am currently living. A career path that I really love, four kids I am extremely proud of, a marriage that I am grateful for everyday, and two published books - one telling my story to get out from under the fog of living for other people and another bringing together a passion project of research that sat dormant for 20 years. 

Choosing peace and authenticity in this fourth decade of life has been the best thing I've ever done for myself. Sure, when someone hurts me, I still cry. I have to process those emotions and get to the other side, but the beautiful thing about that process now is that I know I will not hurt anyone (including myself) in that process. I will get to the other side. 

Reconciliation and authenticity in my relationships today are two things I'm incredibly grateful for. But not every situation, not every person, not every relationship is worthy of those things. 

When they show you who they are, believe them. 

Accept it for what it is, and move on. Don't let them steal your joy or your peace. You've worked too hard to get here.