Taking Up Space

 Taking up space can bring a negative connotation when you're describing a piece of furniture that no one uses anymore, or someone just "taking up space" on the baseball or soccer field instead of actually contributing to the team's success. But when I walked into this mini auditorium to teach last week, I wanted people to come in and take up space. I wanted their voices and thoughts to fill the room. Taking up space does not have to be a negative thing. 

There have been some challenges this week for my family. My grandma, who I have loved since the moment I met her 44 years ago, suffered a stroke on Monday morning. She's been in the ICU for the last 48 hours and was just moved into a regular room. Her progress has been amazing in such a short time considering her age and the unknown variables of what a stroke can do to someone in the later years of life. She's feisty, and strong, and independent. I have always loved and admired that about her. 

Suddenly, the days look a little different when someone you love is in the hospital. You shift things around so you can be present during those moments when your loved one is not able to communicate the thoughts and needs they have. You want to hold their hand as they try to navigate this really confusing new reality where words are trapped in their minds, and can't quite come out the same way anymore. And someone is constantly waking you up to check on your cognitive function, and there's a new scan or specialist to encounter every few hours. 

As I thought about how this "taking up space" idea relates to this scenario, something struck me. We have people in our lives that might show up when it's convenient for them, or when they are able to turn the story into something that puts them center stage. Rather than taking up space in a way that is positive and meaningful, they need their voice to be heard the loudest in the room. They think that their opinion or personal experiences have designated them as the expert or authority on something. Those are the ones who find value in attention-seeking behavior. 

And then there's someone else. 

Someone who takes up space, but does not demand anything in return.

Their presence gives other people comfort, their voice can be heard if you are quiet enough to listen. 

Even when I think about taking up space in this auditorium (the largest classroom I've taught in yet, and intimidating in size and scope) I think about being the person whose presence makes others around them comfortable. Whose message is clear even when it's silent, because the way they move and connect with others is reassuring instead of demanding. 

I am lucky enough to have people in my life who have taken up space in all the right ways. 

And to see one of those people fighting for some semblance of normal after experiencing a major medical crisis is so hard. But, I can do my best to take up space in this process and be a light in a confusing new journey for someone I love. I can be a little spark of positivity for students brand new to a university campus who are lost in the hallway and just need someone to tell them to take a deep breath. 

Taking up space does not need to be a bad thing. In fact, it can be just the thing someone needs to make a difference.