16 feels like yesterday

 My oldest two kids (twins) turned 16 this past weekend. It got me thinking about a few things, nostalgia definitely takes over here and there as I see things through their eyes and wonder if I was similar when I was 16. I wrote some life advice in each of their birthday cards, and my daughter's was "Don't marry the first boy you fall in love with." Lessons learned, lessons passed down. 

My 16-year-olds actually remind me a lot of myself in different ways. My daughter is worried about how everyone else feels and thinks and wants things to all be ok. My son is impulsive and charismatic and so much like his biological dad sometimes that it's painful to watch. He also has a big heart, and is super competitive and very invested in whatever sport he sets his mind to. Sports are his outlet, and soccer was that for me growing up too. 

Sometimes, I feel so far removed from 16 and other days, I see the twinkle in their eyes or the way they interact with friends, and I'm brought right back to my own 16th year. The year I met the twins' dad, and also met and reconnected with women who are still my closest friends to this day. It's the best of times and the worst of times, and as a mom of teenagers, I want to do everything I can to protect them, while still letting them get hurt and learn lessons to grow their own independence and confidence and belief in themselves as capable human beings. I try to draw the line between parent and friend very clearly, so there aren't any conflicting expectations. But I also love them so hard, and when they hurt, I hurt. 

It was quite a trip standing next to my now 16-year-olds and also standing next to my best friends from when we were 16...all in one day. Lots of feelings, emotional overload for sure. I am someone who absorbs the feelings and emotions of those around me, so days like that can be very exhausting for me. It's like my battery gets drained and I just need a couple of days to recharge. I see that in my daughter too. She's an empath, and she loves deep and feels intensely. It's a skill I'm still working on, to protect myself, my mental health, and my emotions, even from the people I love most sometimes. 

16 is a year when emotions ran deep for me. It's when I met my first love, and I'll always remember the ups and downs and emotional roller coaster from that year. A lot of fond memories, and some painful ones too. I hope my openness with my kids and my love for them will always keep them talking to me, asking questions (even really uncomfortable ones that my 16-year-old son comes up with sometimes), and expecting me to give them the truth, even if it hurts a little bit more than a glossed-over version.