60 Days & Counting

 Today marks 60 days sober for me since I decided to stop drinking on September 14, 2023. In the past two months, I've read over a dozen books focusing on quit lit, self-improvement, and a few memoirs (couldn't NOT read Britney's new book, of course). It's funny how even in the books that aren't focused on quit lit specifically, I now see little lessons in life that I would have probably passed by previously. I see more of the silver linings in things, and I see more of the regrets of moments missed, opportunities not taken, and chances that slipped by because I wasn't paying close enough attention to the possibilities. 

60 days since I decided to not drink anymore. I joined an online challenge, Sober70, and it has shown me that there are a lot of people on similar paths (one particular connection I've made is a younger mom of two little ones in Georgia) and also some who look at sobriety as a temporary thing. Which is great, if that's what their goal is - moderating. I've learned in the past several years that I'm not someone who does things in moderation with pretty much anything in life. I go all in, whether it's putting puzzles together until 2am, or drinking a whole bottle of whiskey in one sitting, or giving up every dream I've had to make sure my kids have a nice, comfortable life. 

That last one is something I'm struggling with. I've toyed with the idea of going back to school to get my teaching credential off and on since the pandemic. I even almost finished a credential program in English, stopping just shy of the student teaching (last semester). I turned down a job in foster care (where my heart and passion has been for many years) because I didn't want to #1 take a 60% pay cut, and $2 be in an office 40 hours a week and on the freeway for another 10 hours a week. I've gotten too comfortable with being the primary person that the school calls when my kids are sick. My working remotely has facilitated that to the point that Micah will be 10 years old in less than 2 months, and I've been there for all of those calls. I've never had to miss those sick days when the kids needed me, I've been able to balance working from home and being the mom who is at home too. It's been exhausting, but I've done it. 

But is now the time for me to bite the bullet once and for all and go back to school to pursue a second career? I'm not sure. I know two things for sure. #1 - being sober makes life shinier and more clear for me in so many ways. Unfortunately, it hasn't yet shone a light on what the right call is for this potential career change. #2 - having RNY surgery earlier this year has given me a good chunk of my life and my confidence back. I finally stepped on the scale last week and saw the 100s again...it had been YEARS since that was the case, and it feels good to look in the mirror and not despise the person looking back. So regardless of what I decide career-wise, 2023 has changed my life for the better. 

60 days and counting....and there's no looking back!