Motherhood: The Journey & The Destination

 One of the hardest things to read as a mom is the endless advice on social media and parenting articles about the destination being to let your kids go - our purpose is to raise them to not need us anymore. Our calling is to train them up, and send them on their way, and hope they never need to come back because they are too busy living their own lives, and chasing their own dreams. 

As a mom of two "baby" adults, I am forever cheering them on, while still missing the days when they needed me a little more. Maybe not in the "hard" ways - I don't miss breaking up fights, picking them up at midnight from school activities before they could drive themselves, or fighting with them to get up and ready for school in the morning. But I do miss the conversation in our carpool drives, random park adventures and frozen yogurt dates, and hearing about the little things at school that made them feel seen and valued. 

With the weight of expectations that holidays can bring, Mother's Day is always one of those tough ones for me. As a recovering people-pleaser, I find it hard to celebrate a day focused on other people's gratitude for me. It's easier for me to focus on others, and so while I can do that for my mom and other moms in my life, the purpose of Mother's Day for me now that I have these two baby adults and two kiddos who still need me (unless they don't - like to help them brush their hair because I don't do it right) I often feel pulled in two when we aren't all in the same space. But this Mother's Day, I had all four of my kiddos in the same place with minimal fighting for a couple of hours. And that filled up my soul. 

These cards from my favorite people also made me feel valued and seen, and reminded me how much words of affirmation is my love language. Hearing that I impacted my students, that they enjoyed my class this semester, and them asking if I teach any other courses, that fills my cup too. A little recognition for the people who matter to you goes a long way, and I'm thankful that I had time on Sunday to soak in the love and appreciate this journey, and the eventual destination as painful as that sometimes is for us moms. 

Watching them fly is a beautiful thing, but realizing they don't need us quite as much to help them soar is a whole different experience. 

Jaxon's card for me...he's a man of few words, but I hear him loud and clear.

My old soul, Micah. He is a man of many words (we just can't always read them).

A little love from these two beautiful girls I didn't birth, but who are etched on my heart forever.

And my Lucas...probably the most original message I received in a card. Ever.

Being her mom, having this invisible string between us, is one of my greatest joys.

Being appreciated by my favorite baby daddy is one of the best feelings.